Living in Fear
What comes to mind when you think of living in fear? Do you picture something like this?
Somewhere that this is what you see everyday?
That is what I have always thought of. Somewhere war-torn and filled with hopelessness; somewhere that they need the love of Jesus so badly to have even the tiniest shred of hope and joy in their lives.
I am not diminishing the severity of that, nor the reality that they live in everyday, however, I would like to suggest to you that those in such situations are not the only ones who live in fear everyday. There is a fear that has crept into western Christian society like a plague. It is subtle, it is unspoken, and it is deadly to our growth in the Lord, our relationships with each other, and our very character. It is the fear of conflict.
You should know, before I go any further, that the Lord actually
impressed upon me to write this blog almost two months ago but I let my own fear of conflict convince myself off and on that either the timing wasn’t right or it
didn’t really need to be said. So know that I am just as guilty of
this as anyone.
That being said, why is conflict such a nasty word to us? Maybe because we view it like this:
impressed upon me to write this blog almost two months ago but I let my own fear of conflict convince myself off and on that either the timing wasn’t right or it
didn’t really need to be said. So know that I am just as guilty of
this as anyone.
That being said, why is conflict such a nasty word to us? Maybe because we view it like this:
With people just pointing fingers and fighting for the sake of it, or having to be “right”. But conflict can be as simple as differing opinions on how to do a project, or what movie to watch.
Epic fantasy tales have been a hit in this country for years. Blockbusters like Star Wars and The Lord of The Rings are household names and will be for generations to come. What is it about these that we love so much? What is common between them? Action, adventure, danger, daring heroes, chilling villains? It is just the age-old fight between good verses evil, and even though we have read and seen versions of the same theme over and over again, it still grips us. We hang on the end of our seats waiting to see how the hero will become victorious, because regardless of how great the villain is, we know that the hero will ultimately win.
So what makes a good hero? It is dashing good-looks, or perhaps a sweet nature, or more lately, a funny personality? That might be part of it on the big screen, but what seems to be the defining characteristic of a good hero is someone who does what is right no matter what. He or she always chooses to save everyone; always ends up finding the “good” in themselves and taking the sacrificial path, no matter how hard it is. And they always have to press through conflict to find out what they are capable of and realize who they truly are.
What does this have to do with us? This is who we are called to be in the kingdom of God. Somehow we have lost our definition of godly character- our sense of real integrity- and replaced it with keeping our mouths shut under the guise of being loving. How easily we convince ourselves that we are just avoiding being harsh and judgmental. We teach ourselves to keep any reservations we have about anything quiet and to just “deal” with whatever it is internally until one day we hit the point when we can’t anymore and end up leaving the relationship, church, or ministry.
How many times did Paul have to write letters admonishing people to deal with an issue festering in the church? One instance I am reminded of is when Paul said to the Corinthians, “You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or puts himself forward or slaps you in the face.” (2 Corinthians 11:19-20). Do we want that to be said of us? Would it, if Paul were to visit our churches?
Now, I am not specifically talking about putting up with people who are doing major things they shouldn’t, but about confronting when we need to period, including instances when our friend or teammate has hurt us and we’re stewing inside, trying to silently forgive without exposing our hurt. How can they, or us ourselves grow as people, or in our relationships if we don’t fight for it?! If we don’t let each other know when we’ve been hurt? If we don’t press into the hard things, how will we ever develop real trust, intimacy and love? God fights for us, how can we not fight for each other, even through our own conflict? How are we to become stronger and more refined if we tiptoe instead of really going through the fire? Yes, love covers a multitude of sins, but we have to delve into conflict when it arises to get below the surface and begin to really love one another. If we cannot work through our differences we will forever be taking the easy road out and convincing ourselves that we are doing the right thing and not just the easy thing… our relationships will forever be surface-level without the fierceness and truth with which the Lord calls us to love each other.
And before any of us go and point the finger at the person we believe has wronged us, this starts with us. We have to change. We have to stand up and choose to be men and women of god, full of truth, honor and integrity, who choose to stand up and do what’s right no matter what the cost (and when we do it won’t matter what anyone else does to us, because our reaction will be based on who we are, not what they do or did), and that includes being a safe place and encouraging others to confront us and call us higher.
Recently I was listening to a Graham Cooke sermon and he said that we need to stand up and be the giants in His kingdom that the Lord has called us to be. None of us was meant to live an “ordinary” life; He has called us to be extraordinary and outrageous. Being a giant, IS His version of ordinary. We need to step into the giants we are in Him; not in pride, but in the utmost humility of realizing that it is only through Him we are who we are, and because we bear His NAME! We have to be extraordinary because we are ambassadors and temples of the living God and He has chosen to shine His light to the world through us… US!
Our God has not given us a spirit of fear and if we truly love our
brothers and sisters, we will call them higher and choose to love them
too much to ever let them (or ourselves) be ordinary.
brothers and sisters, we will call them higher and choose to love them
too much to ever let them (or ourselves) be ordinary.
God’s vision of ordinary
(Rachel Saint, one of the women who dedicated her life to the violent Auca Indians (now the Waodoni tribe) after they killed her brother)
